Becoming a Momtreprenuer
As a one woman show, I am my brand. My interactions with people, my work product, and my personality make up everything that one can experience about Clever Hawk Branding. For me the line between work and life is completely intertwined, and that is why I like to tell my personal story as it has become such a part of my professional one.
In honor of my first ever Mothers Day, I wanted to share my experience of becoming a Momtrepreneur (new fav term) and all of the good, the bad, and the ugly that came along with it. Hopefully my story will encourage other moms out there to start that business they’ve been dreaming of, or convince the female entrepreneurs out there that you don’t have to sacrifice your career to start a family. You can have it all - and I am proof of that!
It all began about a year after I got married. I had just started my business and I was eager to get pregnant and start that next step in building our family. But who in their right mind starts a business and has a baby in the midst of a pandemic? Me, that’s who! I’m also lucky to have an equally ambitious and crazy husband who was totally on board as well.
After trying for a year and nearly giving up, we found out we were pregnant. I was probably the world’s worst pregnant woman - sick, tired, uncomfortable, and just plain miserable. It was hard to stay motivated in my work, let alone stay awake long enough to get any work done. I was not one of these women who find pregnancy to be a beautiful thing. Quite the opposite. I counted down the minutes until it would be over the entire time!
Being a business owner, I knew I had to plan for my maternity leave because I had no fellow employees to cover for me. So I prepped my clients, worked tirelessly to be proactive to leave everyone in a good place, and then boom - my whole plan was derailed!
At my 36 week checkup I found out I had something called HELLP Syndrome and had to be induced early. What followed next was an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone - three and a half days of labor, three hours of pushing, and a c-section gone horribly wrong almost resulting in me and my son not making it. Luckily we are all alive and well today, but a normal post-pregnancy recovery was not in the cards for me. I couldn’t hold my son because of the trauma to my body for his first couple of weeks and my husband now had two babies to take care of in the weeks that followed our return home.
I felt helpless as a new mom not able to care for my son, and I felt helpless as a business owner, not able to do any work for my many clients that I bailed on almost a month early. It was hard, frustrating, and overwhelming. My husband kept reminding me “this is only temporary” and that one day soon i’d be able to start doing normal things. First came the essentials that we all take for granted - walking, showering, eating, and hugging the ones we love. Then once I was off of the pain medications I got my mind back - well sort of, there was still mommy brain!
Having left so abruptly, my guilt kicked in quickly and I returned to work after only six weeks. To be honest it was a welcome break from my new reality that consisted on being confined to the couch day and night, covered in baby puke, and in excruciating pain. I always knew that I didn’t want to compromise my career for having a baby, but once I had Jack I knew it was going to take every ounce of my strength to sacrifice time with him. (I mean have you seen him - he’s freaking adorable!)
It is now three months later and I am just starting to feel like myself slowly but surely. Jack is in day care twice a week, during which time I look at pictures of him and cry. I “try” to not work Friday’s so that I can spend much needed quality time with him. That leaves two days a week where I get to play the fun balancing game of trying to make it through Zoom calls without anyone hearing crying (from me or the baby)!
Being a momtrepreneur is hard! One minute I have to be business woman Sam landing new clients and networking, and the next I have to be silly Mommy dancing around the living room to make Jack smile. The truth of it is I wouldn’t trade my situation for anything in the world and this newest version of me is my favorite one yet. Becoming a mom has made me a better person overall, and has certainly made me a better professional. I am more grounded in who I am, focused on what I want to achieve, and aware of what is most important to me.
Happy Mothers day to all of the moms out there because each of you are superheros! And a special shout out to the extra badass ones that call themselves momtrepreneurs! You don’t have to choose when it comes to the things you want in life. You can have it all as long as you focus on a few things: embrace the chaos, stay determined AF, and of course - be clever!
