10 Lessons Learned from my 93-year-old Grandfather
I lost my grandfather a couple of weeks ago. Poppy Hal was as unique and special as his name, and he was quite possibly one of my most favorite humans. I was fortunate to spend more time than usual with him in his final months. During that time, I reflected a lot on what our relationship has meant to me, how it has evolved over the years, and the many lessons that he had taught me.
I have always valued the wisdom that comes from those older and more experienced than I, but Poppy Hal’s lessons weren’t what you think of in the traditional sense. He was different in how he imparted his knowledge on others. Always subtle, if you weren’t paying close enough attention, you might miss it.
I feel lucky to have had what time I did with him and such a loving and supportive Grandfather. Not everyone is as lucky, so I am sharing my 10 greatest lessons learned from the man, the myth, the legend – Poppy Hal.
Be brave, but not boastful - Poppy Hal, known to others as Major Harold Arthur Colladay Sr., served in the U.S. Air Force for 20 years as a jet fighter pilot. He was a veteran of the Korean War and received several citations for bravery. But if you met him, you would never know what a badass this man was, nor of his accomplishments both in and out of combat. In all my years of knowing him I never once heard him brag about a single thing – if anything he was overly modest. He was a hero but never needed the recognition or fanfare, making him even more of a hero in my eyes.
Never take yourself to seriously – I believe he was the OG when it came to self-deprecating humor, which has been inherited by many in my family. We all loved teasing him about everything from his frugalness to his golf game. He always took the teasing with a grain of salt, happy to join in and poke fun at himself right alongside us. I think the ability to laugh at yourself keeps you grounded and humble – which he undoubtedly was.
Beige doesn’t make you bland – Poppy Hal sported an entire wardrobe of beige. Everything from his Velcro sneakers to his cardigan sweaters, to his bedding was beige! Some would find this boring or even crazy – but I think it sheds light on yet another great quality that made Poppy Hal so special… simplicity! When you sport only one color, you never have to worry about matching or patterns. He liked to stand out in less obvious ways, never being one to care about what was “in style”.
Expiration dates are total bullshit – I can’t say that I live by this lesson, but I appreciate the deeper meaning behind it. Poppy Hal’s cabinets were constantly filled with antique canned goods and long-expired boxes of cereal. He didn’t pay any mind to things like that, never wanting to take anything for granted. Waste not, want not. That was how he lived and that was what he instilled in his kids and grandkids. Although I throw out food if it’s even close to an expiration date (sorry Poppy Hal), I appreciate the things I have, both big and small.
Invest in your future – When it came time for me to go to college, I felt like many of my options were out of reach, until Poppy Hal offered to help. He gave me money each year to make the expenses more manageable if I worked hard and made the most of it. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know if I would have had the opportunity to attend the school that I did, and most certainly my graduate degree would have been out of question. I made a promise to him and myself that I would work my butt off, get a good job, and pay off my student loans as soon as I could. That is a promise I am proud to say that I kept, and he was the first person I told when I made that last student loan payment!
You’re never too old for birthday parties - Poppy Hal lived 93 years, and he had exactly 93 birthday parties (from what I am told). Sometimes you meet adults that either don’t acknowledge their birthdays past a certain year or dismiss the idea of a celebration because “that’s kid stuff”. Not this man! He expected a birthday party every year that included his family, presents, and of course the most important part – cake! He taught me that age isn’t something to shy away from, it’s something to celebrate because each year we get is a gift! I will carry on his tradition myself, demanding a birthday party and cake every year for as long as I have.
Hard things are worth doing – My first exposure to golf came from Poppy Hal’s love for it. I believe anyone who appreciates or tries the game is a glutton for punishment because no matter how much you practice, it’s still really freaking hard! He loved golf, although his cursing and complaining both during and after a round didn’t always make that obvious. Even in his later years when physically the sport was too much for him, he stuck with it – hacking the ball up and down the fairways for as long as he could. He approached many things in life like that, always sticking with things even when they were hard.
You can always get up after a crash – As an Air Force pilot Poppy Hal had many great accomplishments. But what I remember him talking about most is the number of planes that he crashed during his career. I think the last time I asked him he said, “three that they know about”. Besides the fact that he survived at least three plane crashes, his ability to make fun of his failures is what impresses me the most. No matter what life threw at him he always seemed to just get back up, brush himself off, and continue on his way. Resiliency is the true measure of someone’s strength, and he had a lot of it!
Family is the most important thing – Poppy Hal and my grandmother divorced long before I was born, during a time where I am sure that was not a popular life move. I never asked him why he never remarried or dated again, but I can imagine that he simply never felt the need. He had his four kids, their spouses, and four grandkids which seemed to keep him happily content. I don’t remember him ever missing a family party, birthday, celebration, or free meal no matter how long the drive was. He was an independent and strong person who knew what he enjoyed and valued the heck out of it.
Dogs are better than humans – The only thing my Poppy Hal loved more than his family was dogs. He had many of them as pets throughout his life and gravitated towards them whenever he encountered one. I am a firm believer that dogs are excellent judges of character, and I know that every dog that ever-met Poppy Hal loved him instantly! Man’s best friend couldn’t be truer, and I know wherever he is now he probably has a dozen of them around him!
Poppy Hal passed before he could meet his first great-grandchild that is due next February. I wish he was still here to continue teaching us all and sharing his amazing stories, but I will carry his lessons on for the next generation. I promise to keep his spirit close to my heart forever and I hope that they inspire you to laugh at yourself whenever possible, save your money, spend time with your family, throw that birthday party, and adopt a dog. Because we could all stand to be a little more like Poppy Hal!
